What is the function of the family?Why do people form a family?

[Current Affairs] 时间:2024-03-02 04:36:20 来源:Breaking news website 作者:{typename type="name"/} 点击:130次
This Current Affairsquestion comes fromZhihu round table »In the name of home,,MoreFamily -relatedThe topic is welcome to follow and discuss.

This question is very good, but I want to reverse the order of answers. I want to talk about why people should form a family.As a psychotherapist, I want to simply summarize the reason I have seen about why the family has been formed.Roughly speaking, it can be divided into four categories:

1. Isn't it normal to form a family?(Because of the practice)

I remember that there was an interview in CCTV in the past few years. An old man hoped that the legislation determined that it was filial piety for those who did not get married at the age of 35.In our common sense, falling in love, getting married, having children, and living seems to be a very orthodox pipeline."Don't everyone come here like this ..." "What is marriage? Aren't you what everyone should do?" "Why not get married?"Many people have formed a family because of this convention.

I have to say that this view is very reasonable.It is conceivable that when you go from the age of 20 to 30, the men and women who have been chatting and chatting in the past have begun to become a madness of the baby, or you will definitely meditate on your heart, you will be silent.Should I set up a family or something?Social practice is a kind of people who do not want to obey themselves blindly, but strongly restrain our rules.But if you really set up a family because of this, it is a pity that you may really experience the feeling of happiness in the family.Because this is the choice of disadvantages, not a profit choice, that is, your expectations for your family are basically no or limited to the same as others.I think it's hard to really enjoy such a family.

2. Hope to live with her (because of love)

Love is a normal activity that promotes the formation of the family. I believe that most people set up a family because of this.I love her, I miss her.So I want to have her at all times in my life. I hope to share everything in my life with her. I hope that every wonderful picture of our future in the future is to watch the two of us.Driven by this reason, it is a very natural thing to form a family from love into marriage, and it is also a thing everyone can yearn for.

The establishment of a family promoted by love can be said to have a good talent, which is equivalent to a three -year -old awareness of thousands of words.But if the reason you set up a family is just love, then it is hard to say whether this magical power grows into Cao Zhi or Lu Xiucai.Because real life is not a TV fairy tale, the penultimate shot is a picture of the happy wedding, and then it jumps directly to the end of the life after 60 years.Love is the foundation of marriage and family, but it must not replace the walls and pillars of marriage and family formation and development.Don't worry, about this pillar and walls, I will slowly come behind.

3. Will you regret not getting married now?

I think these expressions below "older unmarried youth" should be very unfamiliar. "Love is a legendary thing. You see that everyone is older, and get married almost.""You will not get married now. If you are older in the future, you ca n’t find the object at all." Age, physical conditions, and parental conditions will always make people inadvertently think of.Family.This reason for forming a family is slightly similar, and it is also a reason for disadvantages.In fact, people not only have such ideas in marriage, but also occasionally in other aspects. For example, in order to prevent in the future, they must double their hard work.

This idea does meet the awareness of the overall situation that people do not have far -sms. But if you rely too much on this reason to avoid regrets to form a family, and even constitute life, it will make life and family a mechanical task of missionIt is easy to make people lose interest.

4. It's hard to live alone (avoid loneliness)

Every time I saw a topic about how to get along with my girlfriend on ACFUN, there were always a group of netizens kept the team -shaped response to "First of all, you have to have a girlfriend, bastard", although it is a ridiculous conversation, it is trueIt makes people feel a touch of sadness."It's so lonely every day. I hope my world will be seen. I hope my life is no longer lonely." Because of this lonely feeling, many people can't wait to form a family.Just like Fan Xiaoxuan's early song, "I want to fall in love, no matter who the person is."

Loneliness is really the most unbearable emotion. The short -term loneliness will make people feel uncomfortable, and long -term loneliness will gradually affect people's self -function.But if you choose a family just to avoid loneliness, it is difficult to imagine that this family is really comfortable, because not loneliness is a small part of happiness.

I am not criticizing the four types of families above. In fact, they are all important, but only they are not enough for building a stable family.Everyone originated from a limited family, so we must have some limited parts in growth.Everyone is educated by their parents from their children's state, so we all have some confusion about adults and independent individuals.These limited parts, and the confused part of continuing to grow.It is the most important reason for the establishment of a family that we can continue to develop into a better person.

For children's world, games and happiness are everything. For the world of teenagers, hard work and love are everything. What about the adult world?It is the goal at this stage to work hard to build a family and develop, and enrich yourself through family.This is a very difficult task. It is difficult for him to have no answer, but it requires you to continue to work more.This is like you have to change from a stand -alone game at once to a online game that needs you to spend energy to follow the version. You will no longer simply go the goal., Occupation planning, waiting for a series of issues.The family is precisely an important resource to deal with this problem.

This also involves the first question. What is the function of the family to people?The biggest function of families for individuals is to provide people with a platform and support for continuing development.The family makes us more motivated and directed to face various growth in life, and truly grows into a mature individual.If you are really willing to operate your family with your heart and experience the difficulties brought by your family with your heart, you will find that setting up a family will bring you the following new growth and experience:

1. Learn as a complete person who can take care of others

When we were young, parents were people who took care of our lives and growth.With the growth, we must gradually learn to take care of ourselves, wash clothes, cook, clean up the room, etc.These are the inevitable processes we have learned from a child who cannot take care of ourselves and transformed into a complete individual, but this is not enough.Complete individuals means that you can not only take good care of yourself, but also do you can really take care of yourself.This is not only the requirements of life skills, but also involves whether we can really grow into a complete person who can complete from the heart and does not require others to take care of it, and have extra love to release the people around the people around them.EssenceThe complete people refer to the victims of the surrounding people who are always taking care of the people around the people.It is a complete person who is fully full of love, can give yourself enough love, and have the power to give others a complete person.This point can be posted from the family, and learn how to show the true self, but also depends on the partner to take care of your heart.Learn how to have a true understanding of the children's needs from sincerity, and then slowly develop and grow.

2. Learn to be an independent person who can control his life

When I was young, most of the decision to do urban society and parents did it for us.During your youth, we can try to build our own life and world through maverick and bold attempts.But this requires continuing to grow through the family platform.We have to start learning to really plan for our own lives. I hope my life will develop along what kind of direction I want my family to follow in what direction.You need to realize this feeling through response to the troubles of family life.Maybe it is a credit card bill that has been urged every month, or maybe the procedures that need to run around. These real existences, the difficulties that have been blocked by parents, will start to truly return to your hand and let you let you let you let you let you let you go.Go to face and let you control it.This is a very painful thing, but it is really a process that makes you an independent person.

3. Learn to be psychological stable, warm and mature individuals

Do you like to be unhappy with people who like to be close to those who are close to?Still like to hold myself?Frankly speaking these two states are not a psychological state that mature individuals should have, because one of them is a child who does not have the ability to undertake emotion, and the other is a shielder who ignores his inner emotions.Since we come from different native families, everyone is their own blind spots and regrets about psychological growth.Maybe you always feel insecure, maybe you can never be sure that you will not be abandoned, maybe you can always make yourself feel free to enjoy your hard work, maybe you can never get rid of the uncertainty of the future.EssenceThese require us to re -experience and grow in the family.We need to summarize and adjust the interaction with our lover, re -understand our true emotional needs and the way we have learned in the past, and try to find a better way to realize these needs and more comfortable implementation methods.In this process, the family can make you feel emotionally, find yourself emotionally, and experience the feeling of being understood by others.At the same time, we can learn how to understand others with carefully, and learn to be warmer and more stable ourselves.

4. Learn to be self -conviction and flexible method

Who do you want to be?What makes you happy?What do you want to be proud of yourself in the future?These problems are familiar to young people.Many people think that solving these answers is work. As long as they have good results and good, they can find themselves and be free.To be honest, I have seen many examples that hope more freely and harder, and become more uncomfortable.Freedom is not a subsidiary of work, but really needs to be excavated in our hearts.This requires us to re -interact with our lover and the pursuit of life.To try to find a freedom, this freedom refers to the state of being unpredictable in reality, but a flexible state of freedom in faith and in the implementation method.We must learn to be the shadow of others nor the control of others, but we are ourselves.

The fundamental function of the family is to continue to develop. I think maybe this should also be the basic reason why the family exists.

Many people think that the function of the family lies in stability and maintenance, and I think this is very incorrect.Because the unchanged stability is not the most correct, things are changed, people are also changing, especially for the family.From getting married, to children, to growing up, to the leaving of the child, to the retirement, the family situation is constantly changing, so family members also need to continue to develop.

All in all, the family is a nourishing place, the family nourishes people in the family, and the nourishing people in turn make the family better with the power of gain.This can keep the family continuously.


The new book "The closer, theMore harm》 I have been on the Zhihu e-book, welcome everyone to correct :-)

The closer, the more harm -the "One Hour" series -Zhihu Publishing

From the perspective of human evolution and development in the book "Fertility System", Fei Xiaotong talked about:

Because reproductive offspring is a matter of harm, you need to provide nutrition for the reproductive offspring, which will lose the life body of the mother and reduce the quality of life of the parents.The breeding offspring is the need for racial stretching, so society will restrict the fertile men and women, produce a marriage system, and standardize human sexual relations, pregnancy, reproduction, and breeding, so that future generations can grow smoothly., Father protects the social needs of future generations, so form a family to ensure the support for future generations.

1. Long -term free sex partner

2. Chuanzong

3. Build a common family and form an economic community to resist risks together

4. After being separated from the family formed by the parents, they are alone in the society. When they encounter difficulties, they need to find someone to help each other and take care of each other.

5. Every soul is lonely, I hope to find a existence that can understand each other

6. Maintain social stability and contribute to GDP

The essence of marriage is a contract of life, and the other half is your life partner, your life partner.

Corporate partners are in cooperation with business; partners in life are in life, so when choosing their own life partners, they must be very cautious.

The main function of marriage is love, reproduction, and economy.

Marriage is the continuation of love,Many people enter their marriage because of love.Because of love, we are together; because of love, I am willing to be companion for life.

The reproduction function of marriage has actually been available since ancient timesIn human beings or primitive society, people get married to breed offspring, and they have more children and make the tribe stronger.Because the strength of a tribe was often determined by the population.In the feudal society, the marriage was mainly to have a son and to receive it.In modern society, the function of reproduction has weakened. Because people can use the social maintenance system to push for the elderly, the willingness to raise children will be reduced accordingly, so that no marriage or Dike clan will appear.

The economic function of marriage is also very importantEssenceEconomy and love are the two foundations of marriage.The economic ability of a marriage determines how far this marriage can go.The so -called economic ability determines the upper -level building.It is particularly important to ensure the long -term growth of the economy.

When I discussed the issue of eternal life with people.

Some friends said that if a small number of people live forever, many people will physically prevent him.

Think of a question:

  Why do you advocate family.

  Because a person who has no stumbling stumbling is very difficult to control.You can't hold him.

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